with praise and honest
It is always easier
for any one of us to accept criticism after we've received
some praise. So if you wish to criticize, do it after you've
given the person some honest praise and appreciation.
A manager noticed that his secretary was in the habit of not
coming to work on time. He had also noticed that she is always
very presentable in appearance. So he started, "you always
dress very nicely, you do our company's image a lot of good."
The secretary blushed and was flattered. He then said, "I would
just appreciate it if you were more punctual." And from that
day on she was as sharp as a
attention to people's mistakes
It is a normal human
trait to not take criticism easily, but there is a way by
which you can criticize and not be hated for it. That way is
to criticize indirectly.
A sales manager saw one day that his sales force in the store
were chatting among themselves and didn't notice the woman that
was waiting to be served. He did not call on them but rather
served the lady himself and handed them the purchase to be
wrapped. They got the message very clearly and appreciated his
manner in dealing with the matter.
Another manager wanted to keep three employees from smoking
indoors. He bought each one an expensive cigar, and handed the
cigars to them while they were smoking. They were very happy
with the gift. He then said, "could you just please smoke them
outside?" Naturally, they never smoked indoors
your own mistakes before
Another way to help
people accept their mistakes and try to change is by humbly
admitting that you yourself are not flawless. Before
bringing their attention to their fault, mention the similar
faults of your own.
An engineer's secretary used to often type his letters
mistakes. Until one day when he
received a letter that had mistakes, he sat her down and said,
"being an engineer, I was never noted for my English skills,
but because our letters give an impression about us I had to
pay close attention to changing that fact about me. I started
carrying around a pocket dictionary." They sat together and
fixed all the spelling mistakes in that letter, and ever since
she made significantly less spelling
Ask questions instead of direct
People tend to
dislike taking orders.
A very successful businessman was noted by his workers for
never telling someone "do this", or "don't do that." He would
always say things like, "you might considerâ�¦" or "what do you
think aboutâ�¦" or "do you think this would work?"
Asking questions like that and not giving orders saves a
person's pride and gives them a feeling of importance. It
encourages cooperation instead of
a person's pride
At a business meeting
once an employee was to present a report to her boss and
co-workers. She had made a mistake in her research and
mentioned it and told everyone that the research needed to
be redone. Her manager could have scolded her and criticized
her mistake and hurt her pride in front of everyone
Instead, he said, "It is not unusual to make mistakes when
working on a new project, I have confidence that the next
report will be accurate and reliable, and I know that this
mistake was due to lack of experience and not lack of ability."
The woman walked out of the meeting determined to never let her
boss down again.
Even when someone is definitely wrong, you will only destroy
their ego by hurting their pride.
Praise the slightest improvement and be
When an employee has
done a good job or improved in any way, take the time to
recognize his or her efforts. Be specific, point out what it
is exactly that made their work superior. Everybody likes to
be praised but when it is specific it comes across as
sincere, and not just something another person is saying to
make one feel good.
Sincere and specific praise can work as an exceptional
Give the person a
reputation to live up to
When you have
something to ask of someone, start by giving them a
reputation to live up to.
A sales person had finished an unsuccessful sales call with an
existing client about a new product. He was very upset. He went
back and said, "Since I left this morning I realized I did not
give you the entire picture and I would appreciate some of your
time to tell you the points I omitted. I have respected the
fact that you are always willing to listen and are big enough
to change your mind when the facts warrant a change."
Naturally, he was granted another
fault seem easy to correct
If you ever tell an
employee that they are doing everything wrong or that they
are stupid at doing a certain thing, then you've destroyed
every chance that this person tries to improve. However, if
you encourage them and tell them that it is easy and that
they just need to develop the knack for it and show them you
have faith in their ability, then they will try ten times as
hard to do it right.
These rules don't guarantee
that you will always get people to do the things you want but
they sure will increase you chances. Again, and it cannot be
stressed enough, all these rules must be applied with
sincerity. That is the only way they can be